Top Ten Learning Experiences as a 1L--to continue my tradition

10. The 4 deadly Ls, as I like to call them, can most definitely lead a completely normal and typically happy person to an unfortunate state of depression: Lubbock, Law School, Living Alone, and Long Distance Relationship.....ouch
9. Law school is high school all over again except this time everyone is smart and driven....this makes it even more lame. The drama is still there; you know everyone's business; you sit together at lunch tables; you have all the same classes; there are legitimate cliques. I even named one of the cliques in our section the "frat pack." You know exactly the type of people I am talking about. They just came out of undergrad....they go out all the time and post their pics on facebook like they are the only cool people in law school because they go out. (some even sport the popped collar)
8. Professors become objects of ridicule and inappropriate jokes just like teachers did in high school. It's never a good thing when you are comparing a property concept of the "dominant and servient tenant" in an easement situation to your contracts prof's personality as the "servient tenant" in his marital affairs.
7. You're tolerance for annoying and irritating people literally disappears. I have never been so tempted to punch people in the face in my entire life. I seriously don't want to hear your opinion anymore. As Dr. Evil would say, "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury exZIPPIT A...."
6. You tend to gravitate towards the "funny guy" because he is your escape from reality--a reminder of the way life used to be before we all got here.... Yes, Rico, this is a shout out to you. You are a big reason my 1L year has been bearable. :)
5. You have this consistent complex about grades because on one hand, you really DO care about your GPA because that's the reason you got into law school in the first place. On the other hand, you see how ridiculous and miserable the top 10% of the class are, and you don't want to be that either. SO what's the solution??? Be a slacker....claim you are SMART enough to get good grades but you are choosing a life of sanity instead. (while deep down harboring resentment for the peeps with the good GPA) It's a vicious cycle.
4. While doing one of the many competitions in law school, I bonded with my partner over how seriously everyone else was taking it compared to us...we established our joint love for inappropriate humor (both sexual and bathroom--the best type) while waiting for the next round, when we probably should have been practicing. Hmmm this is probably why we never make it very far in these competitions....apparently the board members don't appreciate jokes about participating in competitions being about "as fun as taking a shower with your grandmother" during judging rounds (thanks Aaron).
3. I have never seen a game of dodge ball taken so seriously in my entire life. Only law students would turn a harmless game of dodgeball into a cut throat competition. I just started yelling out comments to "ASSAULT AND BATTER THE TORTS TUTOR" to amuse myself. He did not appreciate my banter, but at least our team had a good time.
2. Law school apparently has stripped many people of their sense of humor, or maybe they never had it to begin with. Anytime you make a bunch of students attend a seminar on editing for the write-on competition and walk them through the citation Bluebook and style manual chapter by chapter, please do them the courtesy to refrain from making stupid jokes. One dude leading the session up front actually made a joke about the italics and typeface chapter. Seriously, there is nothing funny about italics at all.
1. Those dirty old men you see on the street that look like child molesters...you know the type: the weird beady eyes and the transition glasses, the awkward vintage suits of all one color, etc. Well, that could end up being one of your professors. Oh, this guy is classic. I have so many inappropriate quotes he has said in class, but I will only leave you with one. In an "informed consent" medical malpractice case dealing with women getting pap smears and risk of cervical cancer, etc. he actually referred to it as "the smear." Who would ever say that? It's not exactly a phrase you shorten to sound cool. Ladies, when was the last time you went to your gyno and said, "Hey I need "the smear" today." sick